When "They" Say to Savor Every Moment

...but you’re just trying to get through bedtime without losing it.

Recently, I was listening to a podcast by Dr. Becky (truly, the BEST), and something she said stopped me in my tracks. She wasn’t even talking about this directly, but it sparked a realization: I’ve been living according to what they say—without knowing who they are, or even stopping to ask whether their opinion should matter to me.

And I think it’s absolutely tied to how I use social media. I’m sharing this because I have a feeling I’m not the only one.

Let me set the scene: I’m scrolling TikTok after a long day, and my feed is full of soft music and heartfelt clips telling me things like:

• “Your kids are only little once—don’t miss it.”

• “When you’re 80, you’ll want these days back.”

• “Be present. You only get one shot at this.”

These are beautiful messages. They’re full of truth and heart—and of course I love them. I tap “like,” save them for later, maybe even share a few. And just like that, the algorithm has its orders. My feed becomes an echo chamber of “savor every moment” content.

And here’s the thing: the messages are great. I’m not saying they’re wrong. But lately, I’ve noticed that instead of feeling uplifted, I start to feel overwhelmed. The intention of these messages gets lost under the pressure I put on myself to constantly feel grateful, present, and joyful. And when I don’t? I feel guilty.

Instead of enjoying a sweet moment with my kids, I feel a pang of sadness that it’s fleeting. Instead of feeling grounded in the chaos, I feel like I’m failing at soaking it all in.

Then it hit me: two things can be true.

I talk about this idea all the time—with clients, in blog posts, on social media. So here’s my reminder to myself (and maybe to you, too):

• I will miss these days… and these days are really, really hard.

• I hate the bedtime routine… and I can still savor the part where their little hand reaches for mine.

• I can love being a parent… and still need a break.

Dr. Becky’s podcast reminded me that there is an endless stream of parenting advice out there. And sometimes it’s wonderful, helpful, and beautifully true. But even the best messages don’t need to consume me.

The truth is, I don’t need to feel grateful every single second to be a good mom. I don’t need to savor every moment to be doing it right. I just need to be real. And that includes giving myself permission to love this season… without pretending it’s easy.