Doing the Next Thing

It’s been five months since my last blog post. Five.

Let me tell you what happened and why it probably sounds familiar.

I have a recurring task in my calendar that says “Blog” and it is set for monthly on the third Monday. It pops up, I write something, and I move on. For whatever reason, I missed it in October. (Probably because I’m human.)

Once I missed October, something shifted. Instead of just writing in November, I started telling myself, “Well, I already missed last month, so I’ve kind of ruined the streak.” Then it became, “Things are busier now.” And then, “I’m planning to redo my website anyway, so I might as well wait and start fresh when that’s done.”

You can see how this snowballed.

I am a very task oriented person. Unfinished things tend to bother me. Half read books, TV series with episodes left unwatched, projects that are started but not wrapped up. They sit in the back of my mind until I go back and finish them. The thought of something hanging over my head, even something small like a blog that only a handful of people may read, nags at me until it is done. So instead of just writing a simple post in November, I carried around five months of low grade mental clutter.

That is what all or nothing thinking does.

I missed one post. Instead of seeing that as a single, neutral event, my brain turned it into something bigger. It quietly became evidence that I was off track. It made the next post feel heavier. It made starting again feel harder. I put more and more weight on something that did not actually need to carry that much weight.

All or nothing thinking sounds like:

If I can’t do it perfectly, why do it at all.
If I already messed up, I might as well quit.
If I can’t do it the way I originally planned, I’ll wait until I can do it “right.”

And the problem is not that we miss one thing. The problem is that we attach meaning to the miss…regardless of how big or small.

I am sharing this because I see this pattern all the time in my work, and I see it in myself too. It shows up in routines, exercise, budgeting, communication, parenting, relationships. One hard conversation goes poorly and suddenly we avoid the next five. One Monday of a skipped workout means the rest of the week is pointless. One argument makes us question the whole relationship.

All or nothing thinking convinces us that consistency means never missing. In reality, consistency means returning.

This blog post is me returning.

I am not waiting for a new website. I am not waiting for a perfect plan. I am not waiting to feel fully “back on track.” I am just writing the next post.

If you have something you have been avoiding because you “already fell off,” consider this your permission to pick it back up. You did not ruin it. You are not behind. You are human.

And sometimes the most powerful shift is not doing everything. It is simply doing the next thing.